THE LONGEST YARD: First Down, Ten Years To Go

Paul Crewe is having a bad day.  He gets into an argument with his girlfriend and takes the car for a spin.  She calls the cops on him, saying he stole the car.  That’s not so bad, right?  He might pay a fine or spend the night in jail.  Not so fast.  A couple of bad decisions later and Crewe is facing a prison sentence.  And to top it all off, not only does Crewe lose his freedom, he loses the moustache as well!  Tragic!

  It’s hard to watch a 70’s movie and not wonder WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD WERE WE THINKING???  We wore pants that looked like painted shrink wrap.  We grew our hair like a chia pet.  And we drove vehicles that were loud and obnoxious, not to mention butt ugly!!!  But despite all that, The Longest Yard is a solid movie.  Ex-football player Crewe is recruited by the warden to coach a team of prisoners against the guards.  There is no shortage of willing participants salivating at the opportunity to pop their tormentors!  Crewe’s efforts are thwarted at every pass, with the final straw being Eddie Albert’s “suggestion” that the prisoners throw the game.  This of course, is nothing new to Crewe:  he was accused of doing just that during his career, something his prison teammates are well aware of.  When the second half starts off badly for the Mean Machine, the prisoners begin to wonder what’s up.

  Crewe is a character who matches Burt Reynolds personality in the 70s.  Brash, confident, loud and willing to do his own thing.  The question throughout the movie is, will Crewe do his own thing or do the right thing.  Or both?  His adversary the warden, played by the late Eddie Albert, does everything in his power to throw roadblocks at Crewe.  As always in a prison, the wardens and the guards always have the upper hand.  And Albert uses his with authority and nastiness.  It’s a fascinating mind game between Reynolds and Albert throughout the movie.  And in spite of being the underdog, you always get the feeling Burt is in control. 

  There’s some great comedy in this movie.  Reynolds line to Bernadette Peters, asking her about her bouffant, is a classic!
“My, you have lovely hair.  Find any spiders in it?”  Well written and timeless.

8.5 out of 10